Back in the arms of an angel. one big mistake, and my life gets completely turned upside down. and I ask myself why, why didn't I try harder to avoid the mistake, avoid the bad choices. we get stuck in grooves, like machines without oil.

It's not all over, but it's further down the road then I thought I'd make. I am in a place now where I feel comfortable, warm, fed and loved. I am intellectually stimulated again, physically fullfilled. My life is a basin half full again, with rose pedals floating to the top.

I'll never be fully forgiven for what I've done. Nor do I expect to be. But our relationship; new and infantile, is growing steadily. I can see myself again with her until I am rotting in the ground. I can see holding one person's hand until the arthritis gets us both. I am going to sink my all into this again, and be the man she needs me to be. Be the man I need me to be.

Here comes counseling, group annonymous, couples therapy, life coaching. I am going to fix the broken parts of me. I am going to become the myth.

I love you.